"A huge part of losing weight is believing you can do it and realizing it's not going to happen overnight."
But I'm not losing weight, I'm saying goodbye to it. I have no intentions of finding it again. ;)
Gradually, I'm saying goodbye to the 'old' Samantha and allowing in the warrior that's been inside of me this whole time, aching to come out. I cannot continue to beat myself up for how I would've looked if had I taken my health and life seriously sooner. I cannot dwell on how I would've felt if I had thought to believe in myself a little sooner. And I certainly can't let the demons win, regardless of how much they fight.
Fluctuations aside, I crushed the 50lb mark last month. I plateaued recently, but I haven't shut down or given up (I'm in the process of switching things up to get things jumping again!). Mood-wise, I've been up and down and believe it or not, I'm trying to not look at this as a major victory. I still have a long way to go, and I'm afraid that celebrating this will make me complacent. I want to stay hungry for the remainder of this journey. I really don't want to stop, no matter how many stray pieces of chocolate or peanut butter cups I 'accidentally' nosh on. With that in mind, here's my before/so far pic - forgive the darkness, I'm awful at mirror selfies!
I examine this photo daily. What's funny to me is that I initially didn't see a difference, at least not visually. The scale and the measuring tape gave me numbers that I was happy with, but I didn't realize until I set up this photo that I was really on my way. It's silly - it didn't hit me until now. The changes I've made are long lasting. I'm in this for good. I can do this.
Eat clean. Work Hard. Don't Stop. Go All in.
These days, I pull my inspiration from everywhere. I'm a part of an amazing accountability group on Facebook and gradually adding workouts to my regime. I've got so many people to thank for the inspiration, motivation, and life-changing results - but I still wax romantic that, one year and two days ago, it was just me and Joe. He was right - the numbers 3:59 changed my life forever. While I haven't hit my personal best yet, I know it's out there. Can I just quote a Terminator movie while I'm in the zone? "There is no fate but what we make."
Believe it, babies - if you put in the work, you will see results. I keep writing these posts (with gaps, admittedly) in the hopes that someone might learn from my experiences faster than I have. The cool news is, you're not alone. What sometimes gets difficult to remember is that, if you're not alone, then I can't be either.